Here are my friends and my ‘Top Tips for Pulling Boys’. If these don’t work do what I did and break all the rules!
1. Clemmie Fraser Mark’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: Just go up to them on the dance floor yaah, and sort of pull them yaah?
2. Lady Arrabella Pollen’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: Just wear like really cool clothes yaah, and sort of be cool and then do that thing, Clemmie said. If the boy you want to pull isn’t on a dance floor, darling then just sort of look in his eyes yaah and twirl your hair until he gets the message. If he doesn’t take the hint, he’s probably too stupid to pull anyway. Ask him how to spell Sloane Square to be sure.
3. The Hon. Honey O’Hare’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: be stunning darling, get a title and use all Mummy’s connections to ensure you appear as often as poss in magazines with ledge, like Tatler basically, yaah.
4. Star’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: avoid being seen with girls like Honey. Serious, psycho toff alert! No boy worth pulling reads Tatler! If you see a really fit boy, my advice is, just go up and chat to him. Ask him what sort of music he likes, boys love sharing their opinions. Then as he’s chatting away rub your lips against his (only sort of joking).
5. H.R.H. Indie’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: First rule, make sure your security guys are standing a good way off. I know they get sulky, but honestly take it from me, no boy feels comfortable when he sees half a dozen gorrillas with buzz cuts looming over him…you’ve just got to be firm with them (the body guards I mean). I usually say, “shoo!”. Another tip is, unless you like seriously old boys – like thirty-plus – stay clear of Royal Bores. I agree with Star’s point about asking what music he likes but I’d take it further and ask stuff like what their favourite colour is. For example, if its not purple and you’re wearing purple, just signal to your security guards and make a fastish yet dignified retreat.
6. Lady Portia Herrington Briggs’ Top Tip For Pulling Boys: I agree with Star, drop your title and just be yourself…only more aloof.
7. Anastasia, Fenalla, Francesca’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: Soooo easy darlings, just play polo yaah, and like chat to them about their ponys, or corner them after a polo match, or in the Royal Enclosure or any hospitality tent really. OMG, yaah all the really fit boys play polo so like…
8. The Hon. Poppy O’Hare’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: OMG, totally disagree with the polo central (above). Quelle horreur, no girl with looks and a figure like mine has to actually PLAY polo, how tragic. I agree with going to polo matches though, loads of fit boys do play polo and it doesn’t hurt to nod when they start chatting about their ponys and their handicaps.
9. The Hon. Georgina Castle Orpington’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: Personally I take my teddy bear’s advice on everything, he’s madly bright and plus he’s known me all his life. He is a big fan of boys who like bears and “can’t bear a bore” – that’s his little joke, I promised him I’d put it in because Calypso wouldn’t let him have a slot of his own. Anyay, if I want to pull a boy I just do it. I don’t worry about how I look, or if I sound stupid – life’s too short. If a boy gives me any trouble, I just seek solace in my rabbit Dorothy, she’s always up for a cuddle.
10. Calypso’s Top Tip For Pulling Boys: Mmmm, good advice (for the most part). Basically, I think everyone finds different things work for them, like Portia and others said, you have to be yourself. No one, not even the stupidest boy in the world, likes a fake. Obviously there are a couple of constants in this pulling game, like making sure your lips are loaded with lipgloss, trying not to focus on whether or not your hair is doing that sticky up thing and not blurting! I also think it’s good to have a skill. I didn’t realise that fencing would lead me into so much trouble with boys but most of the time I’m glad it has. I’d love to hear you’re Top Tips For Pulling Boys. You can write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I promise to forward any tips you might have for my other friends – or Honey and Poppy even.