My friends and I have decided to paste up sketches of ourselves but if you want the absolute inside goss – about any of your favourite characters from the Calypso Chronicles series write in to : firstname.lastname@example.org … and I’ll try my best to be totally honestish.
Click idols to read about our favourite people in history
age: 14 (in Pulling Princes) but by Stealing she’s turned 15 and like most girls, she ages.
description: American, long thick wavy blonde hair, madly fit and slim (she refers to herself as gangly but I refused to let her put that xx Star.)
likes: books, animals, midnight feasts…..for more
dislikes: Honey O’Hare (oh let me count the ways), school food.
sport: Fencing (sabre).
boy preference: Older fit boys especially from Eades school (ideal: Prince Freddie)
music: anything you can pull boys to
secret: Has a passion for Hello Kitty!
description: First in line to the British throne, easy going though sometimes madly inscuptable, definitely a boy with hidden depths.
likes: parties, Quadbikes hanging out with his mates, thinking up ingenious ways for skiving off his royal duties and giving the paparazzi the slip,
dislikes: Paparazi, having to attend boring Royal duties when he could be hanging out with his friends, not knowing where he stands and brussel sprouts
sport: Fencing (sabre).
girl preference: Girls he can’t work out (like Calypso), hates pretentiousness – and girls who try to manipulate him because he is a Royal (ie Honey)
music: ska rap
idols: His ancestors esp. Alfred the Great
secret: escaping his security guys and taking off on his Norton 750cc
HRH Princess Indiamaca (Indie)
description: Nigerian Princess, killer looks, think a young Naomi Campbell with a lethal combination of brains and personality. Super chilled about herself and relaxed about life in general. Very positive.
likes: Music, parties, socialising. Loves the company of others.
dislikes: Plebs: ie; people who spoil the party with whining or bitching.
sport: rather lay down some songs
boy preference: attracted to opposites. ie: quiet reserved types who prefer their own company.
music: ska, punk and hip hop
idols: Tragic genious figures like, Jimmy Hendrix, Billie Holiday, Janis Joplin, Sid Viscious,
secret: she’s expected to marry a Nigerian prince who is currently three years old. Also she claims she left Cheltenham Ladies College because it was too plebbie but actually she left under a dark cloud????
description: long blonde expensively streaked hair. Permanently tanned, thin, has had far too much cosmetic surgery. Cute nose job but far too much collagen in her lips. Total Psycho Toff Sloane. School bitch.
likes: what she sees in the mirror, practising her dance moves in the mirror, seeing herself in Tatler and other society mags. Having back stage passes, red carpet, champagne, limo’s OTT extravagance.
dislikes: Star, poor people, anyone who doesn’t realise she is the most fabulous thing to ever happen to them.
sport: sport utterly ruins your hair darling! Loves watching polo though
boy preference: fit older rich boys, preferably titled.
music: anything she can show off her cool dance moves to.
secret: she wishes she had a title.
description: strawberry blonde hair, exotic good looks as befitting a Rock Icon’s daughter, flashing green eyes, quick to anger and just as quick to forgive, fiercely loyal and passionate about her beliefs. Quite likes a good stand up row.
likes: Morrissey, songs about teenage angst, writing her own minor chord compositions about the agony of being a privileged teen and having to eat horrible boarding school food. Her pet snake Brian and pet rat Hilda
dislikes: boarding school food, pretentious sloanes, fools, lies.
sport: fencing (but not as much as music)
boy preference: fit but also genuine.
idols: Morrissey and most strong women in history.
secret: Doesn’t believe in them
description: Your classic four foot nun basically. Sister R has the full nun look, with the black one-piece habit with white trim finish. Does a really good line in forgiveness, and will defend St. Augustine’s girls to the hilt, come what may.
likes: Nun-humming, knitting, preparing treats such as battenburge cake for the young ladies of Saint Augustines.
dislikes: Priests who have far too high an opinion of themselves.
sport: Fencing as a spectator sport, three legged nun-racing and playing poker for sweets.
Boy preference: It is rumoured she once flirted with Father Martin from Eades, but she fiercely denies it. “It’s all lies, lies, lies, spread by egomaniac priests with far too high opinion of themselves if you ask my opinion.”
music: St Augustine’s Choir version of ’20 all time greatest hums’.
idols: The Pope, Mother Teresa and Agatha Christie.
secret: Loves to read Nun of Your Business.
Hon. Georgina Castle Orpington
description: long, slim, blonde hair streaked by Nicky Clarke himself. Her lashes are supernaturally long. Her first rabbit was called Arabesque but now she shares a rabbit with Calypso named Dorothy (after Dorothy Parker the writer). She is rarely seen without her teddy, Tobias: a bear of distinguished demeanor.
likes: Tobias, loyalty, pulling boys (the more the merrier), all animals except foxes, midnight feasts, friendship, designer clothes, country life, quad-biking around her estate, fox hunting. Escaping school grounds for illicit trips to Windsor or London, fags, vodka and creating a party atmosphere.
dislikes: Her step-mother Koo Koo, divorce, people her try to discuss her family or her food issues. People who lack loyalty (seriously she even stands up for Honey). Anyone who doesn’t respect and adore Tobias. Bores.
sport: Fencing (sabre), fox hunting, balls, mad-dancing.
boy preference: Older fit boys especially from Eades school (ideal: Catholic gentry)
music: really, really bad tweeny bop bands that you can mad-dance to. Sometimes when friends are down she sings Tweeny Bop songs to them with Tobias (because he knows all the words)
idols: Grace Kelly, Cary Grant, the late Duchess of Kent, the Pope and Lindsay Lohan.
secret: hopes her parents will get back together and that Koo will have a bad face-lift that makes her look like Bob Geldof.
Malcolm (The Duke of Dulamore)
description: Eccentric film maker, green eyes, red hair, killer suits, shades and total lack of self-consciousness. His personal wealth makes him the richest teen in the UK but he keeps this as much of a secret as he can. His father the Duke of Dulamore dies when he was 11 leaving him in charge of the largest grouse moor in Scotland.
likes: Film making. All the great directers -Fellini, Fellini and Fellini and of course Fellini’s muse Anita Eckberg. Grouse and birds of all persuasions -ducks, pheasants etc
dislikes: Snobs and wannabes and anyone who gives a toss or wants something from him – or anyone else
sport: baiting Harrow boys.
girl preference: Anita Eckberg as seen in the Trevi fountian in La Dolce Vita.
music: trance, drum and bass, Hungarian folk songs and Shostakovitch
idols: Frederico Fellini (Italian film director). Artemisia Gentileschi.
secret: He’s a Duke and should really insist people call him Your Grace.
Lady Portia Herrington Briggs
description: aristocratic demeanor, tall, luxurious long dark hair, porcelain skin and dark chocolate eyes. Because she is cautious about what she says, she can seem aloof to people who don’t know her, but actually she’s really, really sensitive of other people and their perceptions. She considers it bad form to jump to conclusions. She can decimate any teacher and even Honey with a singular look that no one else has ever managed to emulate.
likes: Fencing, reading, being surrounded by lively people, animals, boys, privacy, midnight feasts, friendship, family and country life, quad biking around her estate.
dislikes: prying, interfering and cruelty.
sport: Fencing (sabre)
boy preference: Older fit boys who see behind her aloof demeanor and make her laugh!
music: chopin, heavy metal bands.
idols: Emeline Pankhurst, Madame De Pompadour, George Sands, Eleanor of Aquitaine.
secret: She has been having her father place the nun’s racing bets for them since her first year at Saint Augustine’s.
description: Your classic bonkeresque house spinster basically. Short and grumpy on the surface, grudgingly sweet deep-down. Miss Bibsmore, like many house spinsters, has her favourite girls and if you’re not one of them, watch out! She considers slippers everyday footwear – the fluffier the better. She’s also keen on elasticated skirts and cardigans she claims to knit herself but really buys on Ebay.
likes: Trawling Ebay for old cardigans and slippers shaped like animals. Soaps – Eastenders being her favourite. Complaining about her various ailments: her menapause being a particular favourite. Catching girls chatting after lights out.
dislikes: Honey O’Hare. Any sort of high and mighty behavior. Anyone who thinks they’re better than her.
sport: Hitting irritating girls (Honey O’Hare) with her stick. Pressing fire alarm buttons and summoning the police in the vain hope that one day they’ll cart Honey off.
Boy preference: The scoop is she once had a torrid affair with the school gardener which ended in tears when he asked her to knit him one of her lovely cardigans and he caught her on Ebay. She claims she once threw her knickers at Tom Jones (the wieght of them knocked him off the stage.)
music: Something with a bit of a beat that she can tap her stick to. Rap being a particular favourite. There is a poster of Snoop Dogg – or Snoopy as she calls him on her wall.
idols: Indie, Tom Jones, Sister Constance and Margaret Thatcher.
secret: Likes to let the girls think they’ve got one over on her every so often.
description: A bear of distinguished demeanor. Still retains a bit of the old bear fluff but has become increasingly thread-bare about the ears. He is rarely seen without Georgina whose father pays full boarding fees to the school in order that Tobias can join in lessons.
likes: Cuddles and the occasional adventure e.g. an outing to Pullers’ Woods or a visit to the pet shed to see the rabbits.
dislikes: Can’t bear Star’s snake Brian who attempted to eat him once. Also can’t bear Double History, he has had Georgina complain about the lack of lessons covering the historic importance of bears.
sport: Trampolining on Georgina’s bed.
boy preference: Bearly relevant.
music: Bear Nessesities (song from The Jungle Book film.)
idols: Paddington, Old Bear, Boogaloo, BooBoo, Huggy Bear.
secret: Is hoping to have cosmetic surgery on his ears. Holds a flame for ‘Tiara Bear’ of Cheltenham ladies College.
description: Sweet, witty, patient and of a generous nature, great conversationalist.
likes: Nestling in nun habits, floating on ponds, and chatting.
dislikes: Snakes, feather pillows, duck l’orange.
sport: Duck paddling.
boy preference: Malcolm.
music: I should be so Ducky
idols: Gerald Durrell
secret: Speaks five languages (including swan and coot).
About the Author
Tyne O’Connell lives alone in a tragically small flat in Mayfair pining for her 15 year-old daughter, muse and consultant, Cordelia, who – like Calypso – attends an all girls’ boarding school. More »
About the Books
Calypso Chronicles books can be bought at Amazon
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